Sliding Scales

My big cousin is dead. Her lips are swollen and bloody. Around my cell is a poisonous gas, preventing escape. I had seen her, only moments earlier, gasping for the air she knew she shouldn’t breathe. Her eyes are weeping and the neighbours know but they remain silent and distant.

There are four of us still captive and there has been no sign of who is going to be next. Our captor strides towards us and the room shakes violently. He reaches forward and I secretly hope that it will be one of the others and not me, I don’t want to face the poisoned mist. His hand appears and leaves food at our entrance. I am hungry. We are all hungry and we are cautious but can’t resist.

On a small wooden table and right next to us, he takes our cousin, and with his trenchant knife he severs her head, peels back her skin and cuts her from her bones. He slices her into pieces, dips her into some soy sauce and slides her into his hairy, smiling mouth. He is watching us live our lives in fear, trapped and waiting. I need a place to hide; inside the skull, behind the bushes, in the house, under the scuba-diver? I’ll go behind the treasure chest.

Harold Oaks

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Setting: Channel 12 Television Studios. Harold Oaks is a psychic medium. He is in front of a studio-audience, filming his weekly show.
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Harold Oaks:
Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
I am here with you all this evening, to communicate with those who you knew, those that have passed forward, and to provide you with a connection, a pathway, a bridge, so that you can make contact and be with them again. I can almost always feel an all-encompassing presence. Even right now I can feel the spirits of many. It’s more a matter of honing in and focusing on just one of the voices.
..look around. these people are all wanting to speak to their dead relatives. why else would they be here? i’ll go, over… there

I’m picking up something in this area of the room.
..there’s always some J and P names in the crowd, here we go…

Is there a John or a Jim? Something with a J?
..hmm

Or a Paul, or a Pete, something with a P?
..nobody? that’s 4 names and 2 starting letters. about 1 in 12 names should have hit by now and there are more than 12 of you here. do the maths. are you all shy or something?

I’m getting a short name
..there’s only so much editing the station can do. anyone?

and a young man…
..look around, find the emotional one. could be one here

You! Did you lose a son?

Audience member:
Yes.

Oaks:
..phew

What was his name?

A.M:
Saul.

Oaks:
Oh, I got Paul, close, and I could feel a youthful male presence. And a short name. It’s probably him.
..ok, let’s get this one rolling

Saul was young when he passed?
..ok i said his name, that always strikes a chord. i asked for someone young anyway, she wants to believe, her eyes are twinkling

A.M:
Yes.

Oaks:
..she looks like a shy, quiet lady, i’m sure she would like to believe he had a sense of humour, whether he did or didn’t, and i’m sure she thought he was either intelligent or street- smart? handsome or cute?

I’m seeing him smiling, nice-looking boy. I think he had a sense of humour and didn’t mind a bit of a joke.
..she’s nodding and laughing but looks a little concerned and almost a touch ashamed. not the typical good-boy

A.M:
Yes.

Oaks:
And he liked to get up to a little mischief?
..ooh, raw-nerve, she looks horrified! must have been a bad-boy

A.M:
Yes.

Oaks:
It’s like he’s running away from me, but he’s laughing, like he’s playing a game with us, still, even here today.
..give me something

A.M:
Yeah, Saul always had a good heart and he was mostly a good kid but he did get up to quite a bit of mischief.

Oaks:
..okay, it seems this one’s all up to me, we’ve got a bad-boy who died fairly young. here goes…

Was he twelve when he passed?

A.M:
Eight.

Oaks:
..damn! i was gonna say 8

Because I’m seeing a young boy, definitely full of youth, but he seems quite… I can’t quite work out whether it’s his physical height or his big presence, or his maturity for his age. Maybe that’s why I was getting someone older, or the impression of someone older?
..there’s gotta be something there, height, maturity, personality, or i’m wrapping this one up. maybe my connection will just happen to ‘weaken’. hopefully someone else here lost a 12 year old, so I can ‘help’ them of course

A.M:
He certainly did have a big personality and he was quite intelligent for his age. When he came into the room, you, and everyone else in the room, would know that he was there. He liked to be the centre of attention.

Oaks:
..finally! ok we got an 8 year old named Saul who was naughty but social

I’m seeing him and he’s stopped running now. He’s stopping to talk to us and I can see lots of other people around him. I think he’s trying to tell me, and you, that he’s okay and that he is surrounded by his ‘new’ friends now.
..she has to be upset that he only lived 8 years

It’s like he wants me to tell you that he is okay and that you shouldn’t be worried that he lived for such a brief period in this lifetime, but it’s as if he’s making up for it now and that’s why he is running around, and full of energy and, living it up almost!
..bulls-eye, that made her happy, I can see the relief, maybe while everyone is feeling good I’ll give myself a bit of cred.

Often, due to the nature of death, I see people with older souls or spirits and they come to me more slowly and gently but this kid is still… he’s bouncing around! He’s here, he’s there. There’s a tremendous amount of energy.

A.M:
He sure had lots of energy. He played soccer, did athletics. He loved going to the beach and he had just started learning the saxophone. He was such a good kid, I miss him so much.

Oaks:
..ok. gotta pick this lady up and move on, this isn’t a ratings winner, maybe it won’t even make it onto the show. ok, cause of death, validation and onto the next one. it was a young death, could be illness or accident, 50/50

I feel like his passing was quite sudden and almost unexpected at the time it happened.
..such a cop-out. she’s nodding. ok, sad, very sad. it was sudden, an accident, a fall or collision

A.M.
Yes.

Oaks:
I’m getting a thud, like a hit or a fall?
..still nodding sadly, give me something. do I have to ask how it happened?

How did he pass?

A.M:
He was struck by lightning.

Oaks:
..holy sh-t! what are the chances?

Struck by lightning?
..still nodding

A.M:
Yes.

Oaks:
I felt that it was sudden and, I guess, well, it doesn’t come more sudden than that.
..did i just say that?

A.M:
Yeah, he was climbing a tree during a storm. At the time, my husband was at home with the kids and he thought they were all inside. They weren’t and Saul thought it would be, a fun idea, to climb a tree with all the swirling wind and rain. My husband heard the bang outside and went out to find our son just lying there. I got a call and it was the worst phone call I have ever had in my entire life. I’ll never forget that day.

Oaks:
..whoah, this one’s making the show for sure! better pick it up a little

Wow. That really is tragic. I think that’s what I felt, the thud when he fell and I guess it may have been the lightning, or the fall itself, which caused him to pass.
..she doesn’t know either, pretty hard to tell really, shouldn’t make her dwell on it

Whatever it was I feel like he felt no pain when it happened, like he just slipped across into the next world.
..she mentioned athletics before, she smiled when she said it. let’s bring him to life again

He’s taking me to the track now, not the horse races, the athletics track. I can see a stadium and the whole family is there; like you all had a bit of family-time there, together at the meet.

A.M:
Yes! Either my husband or I would take the kids on Saturday mornings to little athletics and sometimes the grandparents or the aunts and uncles would come along to watch, and it was a real family atmosphere. We all had a lot of fun. They were good times.

Oaks:
..ok got a bit of info now, she’s lapping it up, at 8 he would have done a bit of everything, no specialising yet, what could it be? we got running, what else, jumping? throwing?

He really is happy there and it’s like, again, he’s here, he’s there. He’s jumping, he’s throwing. He’s doing everything!
..nodding, proud, sad about what might have been

He’s a real all-rounder and would have been a great athlete through school ‘cause I can feel this, athletic prowess, i see him up on a kind of podium, like he’s being presented with a medal or a ribbon.

A.M:
He used to do very well, always in the top few, and his bedroom is covered with medals and ribbons, and trophies.

Oaks:
..did she say ‘is’ covered? okay, sporty, naughty but good, 8 year old. what about this lady? her left arm hasn’t moved the whole time. if she has an issue with her arm, then her son probably helped her a lot, even if he didn’t really want too. losing a helper would have made his death even harder to deal with.

I am seeing him carrying things and helping around the house, doing lots of things, like he was another set of hands, so to speak.
..nodding, whimpering, is that a tear?

Could we have a tissue for this lady please. Thank you.
..okay… she took it with her right hand

I must say, I know we have been speaking this evening with your son, but the whole time we have been talking, I have had a tingling sensation in my left arm, like it is heavy and stiff, almost wanting to go limp.
..take another tissue… right hand again

Is there some sort of concern regarding your left arm? That Saul has been referring to?

A.M:

After Saul passed I, I just lost it, I, I went through quite a few really tough months, and, the doctors aren’t too sure, I’ve had a few opinions, but something happened to me. They say it could be emotional, like a physical breakdown, and I get shooting pains down my left arm and it hurts when I try to use it. He did used to help out quite a bit though, before, and I had a shoulder injury for a while too and he was a great help then as well.

Oaks:

I think that clarifies the image that I was seeing. I think Saul is showing you the path, what he wants you to do and, in a way, he is willing you to help yourself. He thinks you’re going to get better, in fact, he knows it, and he says that he will be with you all the way and get you back to how you used to be. You should start to feel a kind of warm glow in your arm now, from your shoulder all the way down to the tips of your fingers, like a light is being turned on and warming all the muscles, the joints, the ligaments. Your whole arm is softening, loosening and regaining strength. Saul wants this. How does it feel now?

A.M:

Good! It feels better.

Oaks:

It's like Saul is guiding me. Go on, move that hand. Make a fist for me, for Saul! I don’t know if you can see ladies and gentlemen but those fingers are definitely moving. That fist is good enough for me. Well done. Keep at it.
..hopefully she will be able to make a fist one day. gotta be quick, gotta move forward maybe the dog thing? she has the warmth of an animal-lover. It would have to be a large dog, she doesn’t seem like the ‘cutsie-little-yapper’ type. a german shepherd, a rottweiler?

He’s showing me a dog now, a big dog, darkish in colour.

A.M:
This is so amazing! I’m really, just, overwhelmed! The neighbours had a black labrador-retriever, Petie, and Saul used to play with him all the time. He always wanted a dog and I wouldn’t have minded so much but my husband hates dogs. So Petie was it!

Oaks:
..Petie! i said Pete before, gotta bring that in

I think that could have been the ‘Pete’ coming through before? I said, earlier, how Saul was, or is, here, and there, and maybe Petie, this big, black dog, is there with Saul, and they are running around and going exploring together.
..man, I hope this dog is dead! she did say the neighbours ‘had’ a dog

And Petie has passed?

A.M:
Yes, he passed away last year.

Oaks:
..phew!

‘Cause I can see them there, playing together, and they are having a good time together. It’s as if Saul’s trying to say, “Mum, I know you are worried but it’s okay, I’m in a better place”, and he wants you to remember him and all the good things. He also wants you to remember all those long chats you had.
..what the hell does that mean? though you’re looking a bit embarrassed there mum

‘All’ of them, and he says you’ll understand why he wants me to emphasise the ‘all’. He’s telling me to tell you that it’s okay to move forward with your life, and your ‘lives’, I’m seeing your whole family, and it’s like he’s waving away his hands at you all, saying you can, somewhat, leave him to be, but he’s still smiling and he’s happy. See Mum, he’s still looking out for you!
..okay happy ending, young, social kid, vibrant, she said he had lots of medals and ribbons in his room, sporty, gotta have posters on the walls

I’m seeing a picture or a poster up on, maybe it was his bedroom wall? A famous person? Like a sports-star perhaps?

A.M:
Yes! His David Beckham poster! Beckham was his idol!

Oaks:
..sentimental lady, very surprised, spoke earlier about his bedroom being covered with medals and trophies. should work…

Oh yes, that’s him, I think the haircut threw me. And you still have that poster?

A.M:
Yes! I haven’t been able to move a thing in his bedroom since that day.

Oaks:
..we have one! what else can I say?

He wants you to keep that poster. He likes how you go into the room sometimes and look around, and look at the poster, and think of him.

A.M:
I do and my husband does too. They used to love watching soccer together.

Oaks:
I think he is trying to acknowledge his father here too and he wants to say, or, he wants me to say ‘on his behalf’, ‘hello’, he’s passing through his greetings, to his father and to all of your family. And he’s saying it’s okay to change his old bedroom around if you want, maybe you guys have been thinking about it? Wondering how long you should keep it like that? But keep the poster. He likes the poster.

A.M:
Okay. It’s amazing how he showed you his old bedroom. That poster’s going nowhere. Anything for my boy!

Oaks:
..ok, enough of this lady. love ‘em and leave ‘em. i wish they all would. not really though

Once a mother, always a mother. And he wants to wish an older female figure a happy birthday, one that’s just been or is about to be?
..how good will this be if it’s yours? please be yours, even if it was 2 months ago, I’ll make it work. drum roll…

A.M:
It’s his sister’s birthday tomorrow!

Oaks:
An older sister?

A.M:
Yes!

Oaks:
..bingo! finish on a high harold, you psychic you, this one’s a wrap!

I thought so. Well Saul wants me to wish his big sister a happy birthday for tomorrow and he wants you all to know that he will be there with you in spirit. Thank you for time today.

A.M:
No, thank you! That was wonderful!

Oaks:
Thanks, enjoy tomorrow.
..i hope you think it was wonderful, this isn’t easy you know! you gotta be quick, creative, sensitive, adaptable and have a mouth that melts minds. you guys love it, you want it, you need it. watch my show, buy my book.
care for an autograph? how many of you need to see the old ‘H. Oaks’ before you realise? who’s next? maybe over… there?

I’m getting something from this side of the room now, an older male figure?

The Mosquito in the Room

Tony: What are you doing?
Fiona: Why don’t you just scream at me next time Tony! There was a mosquito on your arm!
Tony: Who’s the one shouting? Stop touching me and getting all on top of me all the time. I can take care of my own mosquitoes.
Fiona: That’s right isn’t it! You don’t want me anywhere near you do you? You can take care of everything yourself. Is it those whores in the city? That little slut secretary of yours? Or are they also not allowed near your highness over here, who takes care of his own incy-wincy little mosquito!
Tony: I don’t need this.
Fiona: Where are you going?
Tony: Out.
Fiona: Where’s out Tony? Tony! ...You’re sucking me dry Tony!

How it… was?

When lands were divided with words etching borders,
when little specs of space in time all lived at the centre
and honoured our antiquity, the narcotic nostalgia.
They didn’t know they didn’t know.

So simple then, and wondrous to believe in
an unseen force, to dominate and cushion,
who whispered behind them the perils and virtues
on their spec, a soiled disc, a conjured enclosure, bound
by fantastic, immortal horizons.

Drowned in their purpose and kneeling for dreams,
praising, repenting and hoping to please,
speaking to the sky, not raising an eye,
living out the divine, intellegent design, to a
void, the world, so confused, so uncertain.

At a Glance

I went to see a lady at AAMI this morning, just before she was
arrested for having over 200 cannabis plants in her Sydney home.
At lunch I had a 6-Inch Sub from Subway and noticed
a man ‘mistreating’ a girl stuck in the toilet.
I started a new account at Westpac this afternoon and saw a
woman released from 18 years in a locked room.
Tonight I was driving home in my new Holden Astra and spied
two single mums turning a sleepover into a sex party.
I am on my Apple Mac and I can’t sleep,
a study has shown that we may all be space aliens.