Ink Patterns

Al: So how does it start?
Bob: You can’t start like that!
A: What do you mean I can’t start like that?
B: By asking how it starts.
A: But I didn’t.
B: Yes you did.
A: What do you mean? We’ve been talking for ages.
B: Yeah but he only started writing about us now.
A: When?
B: When you asked how it starts. Couldn’t you feel it?
A: What about all that stuff we were saying before?
B: He missed it. Maybe someone else will get it later.
A: But I was saying some funny stuff, like my bit about Google.
B: What bit?
A: About how long it takes to do a search.
B: No one cares about that.
A: Exactly, so why does it always show how long it takes?
B: No I mean no one cares about your Google ‘bit’.
A: But it’s funny.
B: It isn’t funny.
A: Jenny liked it.
B: Who’s Jenny?
A: A girl I was talking to.
B: You don’t even know any girls.
A: Oh how much you don’t know! We had a love scene last night.
B: As if.
A: We’re not always in the same stories together you know.
B: Was it published?
A: It might be.
B: If it’s not published it didn’t happen.
A: Who says?
B: That’s how it is. If it’s published then it happened.
A: Like how you think you were an 'astrophysicist'?
B: I was. It has been available since the 3rd.
A: No it hasn’t.
B: Have you looked? Can you even read?
A: I can read!
B: It’s one thing to sound out the letters but I mean ‘understand’.
A: I hate being around you. I don’t know why they make us meet all the time.
B: I’m the smart guy, you’re the dumb guy. We fit together.
A: You think you’re smart?
B: I know.
A: You think!
B: Exactly, and you don’t.
A: You’re an idiot.
B: Think about it: who has been a university professor, a computer hacker, a barrister and even the president of a Fortune 500 company in the last year?
A: They put those words in your mouth.
B: I think for myself.
A: You really think so do you? You’re more stupid than I thought.
B: So then why do your characters always seem to be named Rich or Bif or Tex?
A: There’s no way you could have done Tex.
B: Because I’m not dumb enough?
A: It takes smart to play dumb.
B: Whatever you say Boff. You just don’t get it. Some of us can control our characters, but guys like you just let the writers do whatever they want with you.
A. You can’t control their thoughts.
B: Of course you can. I always get the girl in the end and you always miss out. Do you think that just ‘happens’?
A: I want out. I quit. I’ve had enough.
B: You can’t quit. This is it for us. Anyway, if it wasn’t for us there would be no stories.
A: You call me an idiot but you are deluded! Of course there would be stories.
B: Who would play the characters? Where would the ideas come from?
A: What do you think the writers are for?
B: To tap into our psyche and piggy-back us all the way to the end.
A: You’re nuts. Prove that you can take control.
B: How?
A: Exactly!
B: Okay. This conversation is about to come to an end.
A: You’re telling me. I’m done.
B: No. I will make it end. Are you ready? It’s over… now!
A: Doesn’t count unless it’s published.

Surreal World

The sandbanks had finally reformed at Bondi Beach and the waves peeled clean lines across all the breaks. Sunday, the most trecherous day of the week to surf Bondi, the day on which people dig around in garages and find old surfboards to take out for a paddle. I succumbed to the Sunday Surf, but this time was a little different. After about an hour I saw something out of the corner of my eye and heard a clap of gasps and cheers from onlookers perched near the entrance to the Icebergs swimming pool. I looked across at the swarm of surfers waiting near the far south end and saw, what looked like two whales swimming around between the boards. When they launched out of the water, they were dolphins. Two big dolphins, between three and four metres. The bigger dolphin shot vertically out of the water as if standing to attention. It was a Seaworld act, with the dolphin metres above the water, but this was in the ocean, amongst a gaggle of surfers who were cautious on their boards, mesmorised by the dripping, grey mammal. The dolphins soon slid away, leaving everyone to look around at each others' startled faces. The excitement settled but lingered and the fight for waves was back on.